inconsolable

what could it be? i dont know.


all i know is to have optimistic thinking... tho recently cousin's frenz just died of this.


what could it be? i wish i know


all i have to do is to wait ... but every mini-second is precious to me...can i stil wait that long?


what could it be? love


thanks for everyone giving mi the love i want.


what could it be? hatred?


if the result is negaive...will i have hatred for living such a short life ( and live in hell? lol juz kiddin)


what could it be? time?


there are soo many things i still want to do... and i have to take care my family... marry to dear dear aka clifford aka ah boon aka boon boon aka sweetie aka sa gua aka silly boi aka s hole ( haha love givin him all types of names )....


what could it be? the book


the last lecture ( the book titled) what can i give to you guy as the last present?


what could it be? money

if true then will be usng money like my parents own a bank ...damnit

what could it be? pray


all i have to do now is pray hard...





PS:
- hash hash... another me.... we are inseparate definitely ... i love u
-dear dear thanks for everything ... u r perfect just need to change ur temper... think back at the pool this afternoon... i just being cheeky ... n think what happened next.... sry i cried....just too many emotions comin up... just today i find out i got asthma attack which is trigger by couging... den u-know-wat.... how can i still controll ??
sorry i just lose it... feel like im standing on the edge tryin hard to balance ... tryin very hard to hide my feeling... tryin hard not to think of anythg and live happily just for the moment... tryin hard to get hold of myself... but it is soo hard ...

anyway thanks for ur understandin ... n ur unlimitless love... i love u muackx...

-it is realli hard to control my tears when u noe someone is cryin for u and yet u do not wan the rest to get upset too... but i did it...